| Catherine Chen 的个人资料寻觅 A Little Urban Happin...照片日志列表 |  工具  帮助 |
寻觅 A Little Urban Happiness未曾酒醉已清醒，未曾深爱已无情 |
||||||
things are supposed to be forgot Those things, that are supposed to be forgotten, are still there. Whenever I start to forget them, something pops out, and here we go, memories flash back. Several more months, I am going to put everything into shredder. Everything. And I will be back. Today my coworker told me that my personality is more like a guy than a girl. Some close friends told me before so I was not surprised. I was more interested in the way he told me. My coworker said he only started to recognize it after he met me more 7 or 8 times because I appeared as a more quiet and girly girl in the beginning, and it can be a good advantage.... Why did I think it was interesting? Because one or two people used to give the totally opposite opinion about me. They told me that I am actually very girly though I appeared as a cold-blood and well-controlled woman in the beginning. Who are they? ...Guys who were used to be very close to me for over a year... Maybe friends and dates are just different. Maybe it's just risky to let someone starts to get to know you too well...oops. Days Just saw something I absolutely don't want to see in my life. Then suddenly realized that it will take a little more time for me to be ...as fine as I want to be 17 more days, it's going to be a year, 17 days plus 30 makes it a period. How many more days do I still need to see the whole drama a piece of laugh. Can't count. So the best thing to do is to go to sleep now. 体温 看书发现一下这句话，很温馨，也很真实 一个人的体温是体温，两个人的体温是幸福 特别在冬天很好用啦！ 夜１１時半 たまには、寂しい、かなり 原因は分かっている けど、戻ることができない 戻る道もない だから、前に向かって歩くしかない でも、まずは、ビューティスリーピングかな 最近、友だちに頼まれて、したくないことをした。 それをしたら、恐らく自分は良い思いはしないだろうなぁと分かっていたけれど、 それ以上断る言葉がなく、断る理由も無く、承諾してしまった。 やっぱり変な思いをした。一晩中。 当時は無理なく明るく笑えていたけど、三、四日後の今になってやっと気づいた、無理していたことに。 コアラじゃないのに、私の感情ってどんだけ遅いかよって、四日後になった今、笑うしか無かった。 友だち誰も気づかなかったから、それはそれでよかったけど、 自分もいつまで絶っても気づかなかったらいいのにとかと、バカなことを考えた。 しかし、見て苦しいものを目の前にしても、めちゃ普通に笑えるのってかなり簡単なことかもね。 まぁ、自分の場合はここ２年間、完璧な「訓練」を受けて、かなり無理矢理に耐えて、堪えてきたから、 今回はそれに比べてa piece of cakeだっただけかもしれない まぁ、周りのみんなが良ければそれでいい。 でも、もう昔の自分に戻れないのかな、もっと単純な自分に。 このまま我慢したら、自分が安部公房の「赤い繭」の主人公になって、繭に包まれる、繭で自分を包めてしまうじゃないかな。 最近は、自分の感情をあまり感じない、ある意味で平和だ。しばらくこのままでもいいかな。 やっぱり成長ってのは、戻れない道を歩んで行くことだろうか。 Watching "Proof" While I was watching the ending part of the film, I heard the heroine says "How many days have I lost? How can I get back to the place where I
started? I'm outside a house, trying to find my way in, but it's locked
and the blinds are down, and I've lost the key, and I can't remember
what the rooms look like or where I put anything. And if I dare go
inside, I wonder, will I ever be able to find my way out?" And her words kept running in my head again and again. These are exactly what I am feeling now..the words are exactly what I wanted to tell someone. In the same movie, Catherin's father, a genius mathematics, wrote the following theory in his notebook "Let X equal the quantity of all quantities of X. Let X equal the cold. It is cold in December. The months of cold equal November through February. There are four months of cold, and four of heat, leaving four months of indeterminate temperature. In February it snows. In March the lake is a lake of ice. In September the students come back and the bookstores are full. Let X equal the month of full bookstores. The number of books approaches infinity as the number of months of cold approaches four. I will never be as cold now as I will in the future. The future of cold is infinite. The future of heat is the future of cold. The bookstores are infinite and so are never full except in September..." It was too good and it made me want to tell and share with someone. The summer is coming again, and I am still wandering outside the house. Or, probably I am walking around inside the house and finding my way out. |
|
|||||
发送私人消息
订阅 RSS 源
告诉朋友
添加到 Live.com
添加至您的网络
订阅提醒|
|
