"How many days have I lost? How can I get back to the place where I started? I'm outside a house, trying to find my way in, but it's locked and the blinds are down, and I've lost the key, and I can't remember what the rooms look like or where I put anything. And if I dare go inside, I wonder, will I ever be able to find my way out?"
And her words kept running in my head again and again.  These are exactly what I am feeling now..the words are exactly what I wanted to tell someone.

In the same movie, Catherin's father, a genius mathematics, wrote the following theory in his notebook

"Let X equal the quantity of all quantities of X. Let X equal the cold. It is cold in December. The months of cold equal November through February. There are four months of cold, and four of heat, leaving four months of indeterminate temperature. In February it snows. In March the lake is a lake of ice. In September the students come back and the bookstores are full. Let X equal the month of full bookstores. The number of books approaches infinity as the number of months of cold approaches four. I will never be as cold now as I will in the future. The future of cold is infinite. The future of heat is the future of cold. The bookstores are infinite and so are never full except in September..."

It was too good and it made me want to tell and share with someone.

The summer is coming again, and I am still wandering outside the house.  Or, probably I am walking around inside the house and finding my way out.

最近仕事での打撃が連発だ。

これまでに自分がわがままにほっからした問題が如何に仕事に影響してきたかにようやく気付いたりして、プラス雨の日が続いているから、

気分がなかなか晴れてこない。

 

だけど、なんとなくだけど、前よりは平静になってきている。

 

絵を書きたいなって

油絵の筆とカンバスを買おうかな・・・

 

 

After I had dinner with my Japanese co-worker, I had a chance to have a drink with a friend from England who helped expand the boundary of my imagination even further.

 

Our conversation began with his confession of having hypersexuality. 

"I have a girlfriend but I have hypersexuality." He suddenly told me this. 

"REALLY!"  And I could not help but started to be excited.  An interesting and unique topic is always welcomed after a tough week with work.  "Well, but what does it mean?" I guess he would have told me anyway even if I did not pop the question.  My eyes were sparkling for more details.

 

This friend and his Japanese girlfriend are both working for investment banks in Tokyo and they have been in a relationship for three or four years.  But both of them are having sex with other people, and sometimes they enjoy inviting the third party to join them.  "Life is too short, and we both enjoy sex a lot." He explained, and also told me that sometimes they tell each other what happened in the "affairs" and exchange the information.  "If there is something interesting, we would try together."

 

I was impressed indeed.  It is easier for me to imagine a male enjoy this relationship. But for girls, I am still wondering if this girlfriend is really enjoying it as much as her boyfriend, or this is just another similar story I have been listening that tells the poor girl has been really tolerent for keeping the relationship and she had to creat the image that she is actually having sex with others and enjoying it.  Yes, I heard the similar stories in Japan, a paradise for foreign men from the West.

 

Assuming they both are totally fine with it, then it becomes a really intereseting story!  Is is a sign of the progress to a new and liberal generation or the evidence that human are going back to animality?  I don't know.  But as long as they are both happy, it does not matter.  

 

However, after I heard his relationship, I nearly asked the question to my friend "but then why do you need a girlfriend?"   He is an attractive man and definitely has no problem finding girls as much as he wants (probably especially in Asia).  So why does he commit to a relationship if he can just have as much as he what?  Very soon I realized that it would have been stupid if I asked the question.  The fact is that sex with the girlfriend is certainly very important though it is weighted less in his value towards relationship.   I am not sure what exactly made him commited into a relationship and call the partner a girlfriend, but it must be something more valuable.  It may be the feeling and capability to grow up together which I consider the most significant factor to choose a partner in a positive manner.